my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad
forced into love
If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.
OUR TEACHER MADE US READ THIS OUT LOUD IN CLASS AND I DIED
I still can’t say anemone
I only stuttered like twice and I’m stupidly proud.
(Source: kanrose, via dontbeanassbutt)
Brimfield PD (Ohio) - This is the new puppy at training today….we don’t think the bullet proof vest fits….just yet
OH MY GOSH
That puppy is all like “I’M READY, LET’S GO! LET’S GET SOME JUSTICE DONE!” (and then probably goes off to chase a butterfly around the training area).
THOU = “YOU” WHEN YOU’RE FUCKING DOING SOMETHING.
THEE = “YOU” WHEN YOU’RE HAVING SOMETHING FUCKING DONE TO YOU.
THY = “YOUR” AND “YOURS” WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING CONSONANT.
THINE = “YOUR” AND “YOURS” WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING VOWEL.
IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE SHITTY EARLY MODERN ENGLISH TEXT POSTS, DO IT RIGHT.
Turn on the app If you feel unsafe hold your finger on the screen. Once arrived to a safe location, enter your code. If your finger leaves the screen without entering the code law enforcement is notified and your location is tracked through your phone.
reblogging bc this seems really useful
1/1023 older »